Pregnancy Update at 39 Weeks

Due Date: October 1st . The c-section is scheduled for Monday Sept. 26th sometime in the morning. I'm in the third slot for the day so we're thinking surgery around 11am. Less than a week to go!

Weight Gain: My official doctor record says that I have gained 30 pounds. I'll take it. Hoping to be able to establish an exercise routine once cleared by the doctor.

Symptoms: Overall feeling like crap. But at this point, that's to be expected. I've also been having random contractions here and there, but nothing consistent.

What's different this time: I have to take care of a toddler. This is exhausting when I'm already super tired.

Cravings/Aversions: Food is a necessity, but nothing really tastes great. And I get super full really quickly.  This kid is pushing everything around so much that I don't think my digestive system is doing very well.

Sleep: Having lots of trouble getting and staying asleep. At this point, I have to prop myself up to a semi-reclining position. Baby does not like me laying flat in bed.

I am loving: J is back from Romania. I have another pair of adult hands in the house to help out with Arthur. I definitely needed it.

I miss: Being able to bend over without major pain.

I am looking forward to: Getting this baby out! Five days!

I'm spazzing about: OMG I only have five days until Q comes! What else do I need to finish?

Movement: I don't care what the baby apps say, this kid has not slowed down.

Preparation: The pseudo-nursery (really the twins' room) is all done and ready. I've got baby supplies in two places (upstairs and downstairs) to make my life a bit easier. The car seat is ready to go. I think we're good. Just waiting for the kid to come.

Quentin's Stuff: The "nursery" (really the twins' room while they are gone) is ready for the little guy. I also had the bright idea of making a clothing/burp cloth/diaper/essentials basket for downstairs. I don't want to have to go up and down the stairs anytime I need to change his diaper or outfit. Go me on the planning ahead of time! I also packed his going home outfit in my hospital bag. Now I just need to pack my stuff!

Pregnancy Update at 38 Weeks

Due Date: October 1st. After not hearing anything from the doctor's office since my 36 week appointment, I finally got ahold of the office and surprise, surprise, another change. Apparently my c-section is now scheduled for September 26th. Unfortunately I still don't know a time. This is really making my planning for Arthur's childcare difficult to say the least.

Weight Gain: My home scale is telling me 26 pounds.

Symptoms: All the same complaints. Plus I've started getting some sciatica pain on my left side. So not cool.

What's different this time: I've been hardcore nesting this time. I have not idea what's up with me, but yeah for lots of freezer meals prepped and baked goods.

Cravings/Aversions: All the baked goods.

Sleep: Eh. Not great, but I seem to be able to fall asleep quickly after waking to pee.

I am loving: The fact that J is coming home on Friday. This three week solo parenting thing has taken it's toll on me.

I miss: Being able to get of the couch/out of bed without wincing in pain.

I am looking forward to: Getting a confirmation on my surgery time.

I'm spazzing about: Not having childcare set up for Arthur for c-section day.

Movement: Supposedly the baby should be not moving as much, but not my babies. Q is just as crazy as he was a month ago.

Preparation: Beyond the freezer meals, I remembered to make Arthur's 3rd year appointment. I also washed the car seat liner and put it back together. Now we just need to reinstall it into the car.

Quentin's Stuff: J's parents sent us the double stroller I wanted! I'm so excited about the idea of having a sit and stand stroller. I am hoping to be able to babywear Q for awhile, but depending on my physical state, that may not happen. At least now I have a few options.

Pregnancy Update at 36 Weeks

This post got pushed a day to accommodate my 36 week appointment this morning. Instead of seeing my usual midwife, I met with an OB to do my pre-op appointment. Things did not turn out as expected.

Due Date: October 1st. Apparently the office had changed my due date after my 20 week ultrasound but never told me. The OB doesn't let repeat c-sections go past 39 weeks, but we've had a drastic change in estimated time of arrival for the little one. Tentatively the c-section is scheduled for Sept. 25th (need confirmation from the hospital master scheduler). The little one will be coming much sooner than I had expected...

Weight Gain: 24 lbs

Symptoms: Very uncomfortable just about all the time. The scare tissue pain is constant with big spikes here and there. Thankfully this hasn't impacted the baby at all. I've also been having numb hands during the day and I always have to pee. So mostly all normal symptoms.

What's different this time: This is my last baby. I officially signed the paper to proceed with a tubal ligation during my scheduled c-section. We are 100% done.

Cravings/Aversions: Desperately want some wine (and a gin and tonic on the side). So trying to hold off until after the baby comes.

Sleep: A bit of a joke as this point. I'm constantly waking up at night time and not just to pee. I just wake up and then have to convince myself to go back to sleep. No fun at all.

I am loving: How loving Arthur is being with myself and the belly. He loves to give boops (tiny pats) to baby "kinkin" (his name for Quentin). Hopefully this love will continue after the baby actually arrives.

I miss: Being able to get up off the couch without groaning...

I am looking forward to: J coming back from his three week work trip. I'll feel much better when he's back in the country. And it will make me feel better when the c-section date is confirmed.

I'm spazzing about: Feeling the need to get our freezer stocked with meals before the baby comes. So far, I've only made some baked ziti. I have a list of about 7 different dishes make multiples of. Hopefully I can find the time and energy to get them all prepped.

Milestones: My surgery has been scheduled. Barring any craziness, I now know when this baby will arrive.

Movement: According to the pregnancy app, movement should slightly decrease at this point. Apparently no one told the baby. He's as active as ever. His favorite activity is to burrow into my pelvic bone nightly, usually around 8 or 9pm. Oh so much fun.

Preparation: We finally picked a name! Quentin Deckard will be joining our family soon.

Quentin's Stuff: My parent group held a small sprinkle for myself and another at the end of August. Our group tradition is to make a fleece blanket and painted onesies. We received an adorable firetruck themed blanket and some onesies of all sizes. Arthur even got a "big brother" shirt to wear.

Pregnancy Update at 32 Weeks

Due Date: October 5th

Weight Gain: Up to 19lbs. Not bad at all... Still hoping to keep it under 25 total. I have enough weight to get rid of after the birth as it is.

Symptoms: Lots and lots of scar tissue pain. Some Braxton Hicks contractions the other morning. Carpal tunnel causing numbness in my arms at night. A bit of plantar fasciitis.

What's different this time: I feel like the baby's movements are more intense this time compared to Arthur. He is just constantly stretching and kicking and burrowing into weird places. Arthur's slightly weirded out by the fact that my belly moves on it's own sometimes. The baby actually kicked Arthur's hand the other night surprising him greatly.

Cravings/Aversions: Been on a baking kick lately. I just want all the cookies, muffins, and cakes!

Sleep: Insomnia has been creeping in lately. Some nights it feels like I've been awake the entire time. Thankfully Arthur has been sleeping until 8am or so. And sometimes he just plays quietly in his room until 8:30am.

I am loving: Arthur snuggles when I'm not feeling very good. He gives the best snuggles.

I miss: Wine. I've had a glass here or there throughout, but I try to limit it to one glass.

I am looking forward to: My parent group is throwing myself and another pregnant friend a sprinkle on August 21st. Can't wait!

Movement: Crazy crazy crazy. This kid is just so active at all hours of the day. He's definitely stretching his limbs to their full extension. Ow!

Preparation: Still haven't picked a name yet. Arthur's insisting we call the baby "Milk" to which J then suggests Harvey. Um no. I did post a Baby Hunch pool for guessing weight and such. If anyone wants to participate, click here.

Baby’s (name pending) Stuff: This little boy already has an entire wardrobe curtesy of Arthur, but we do have a few holes. The major hole is socks! I seem to have lost every single baby sock we ever owned. Thankfully Target had these fuzzy little striped socks on clearance last week. And while I was there, I picked up this adorable dog outfit for $3.28! I couldn't resist. I did remember to get it in 6m size instead of tiny.

Photo bomb from the big brother...

Pregnancy Update at 30 Weeks

Due Date: October 5th

Weight Gain: 17 pounds. Decent progress so far.

Symptoms: Scar tissue pain - constant and at times almost unbearable.

What's different this time: Thankfully no baby hiccups yet. Arthur had them constantly and it really got old after awhile.

Cravings/Aversions: I've been craving all the sweets lately. I've been baking up a storm.

Sleep: The past two weeks, my sleep has gone downhill. I'm up at least four times a night due to being uncomfortable.

I am loving: A beautiful baby blanket a crafty friend made me. Perfect in yellow, gray, and white.

I miss: Beer. With the temperatures in the 90s, I've been craving a refreshing beer.

I am looking forward to: The hear breaking. I'm hot all the time and it's so incredibly uncomfortable.

I'm spazzing about: Or still indecision when it comes to a name. I like to plan things ahead of time. Hoping we can get this settled soon.

Milestones: Um... I got nothing this week.

Movement: This kid is super crazy all the time. Last night, he was doing barrel rolls and it was so very painful. But I am glad I can feel him multiple times a day.

Preparation: Arthur has been moved to a big boy bed! Amazingly, it went relatively painlessly. He's gotten up a few times, but either right when he goes to sleep or after the sun comes up. J moved the crib to the twins' room where it will stay for a few months after the baby comes.

Baby’s (name pending) Stuff: Other than moving the crib, I haven't gotten anything else for the baby.

Pregnancy Update at 28 Weeks

Officially I was 28 weeks on Wednesday, but my appointment wasn't until yesterday so I thought I would push my post until today.

Due Date: October 5th -- I'll be having another c-section due to scar tissue concerns. This baby is coming sometime the week of October 5th. We'll discuss a specific date as it gets closer.

Weight Gain: 16 lbs -- Decent for me. I stated out heavier than I've ever been and was hoping to keep my weight gain under 20 lbs. I will probably end up more like 25 lbs, but I'm okay with that.

Symptoms: Random nausea, fatigue (probably due to chasing a toddler), carpal tunnel at night, near constant scare tissue pain

What's different this time: I have a toddler to take care of! Well that and my scar tissue has been causing pain from week 1. With Arthur, I didn't feel it until almost 7 months along. I've resigned myself to dealing with the scare tissue pain. Most days it's a dull ache although it can get quite intense.

Cravings/Aversions: Like all my pregnancies, I'm so into fruit! I could eat fruit all day long. Thank goodness we live in California where it's decently cheap.

Sleep: Meh. Some nights good, some nights bad. I consider it a good night if I only have to wake up to pee once or twice and immediately go back to sleep. Some nights I suffer from insomnia...

I am loving: Baby kicks

I miss: Being able to get off the couch without bracing myself

I am looking forward to: Choosing a name. We've narrowed it down to three, but are still debating the final choice. Soon...

I'm spazzing about: J has to go to Romania in September for work. He's trying to schedule it early in the month, but my goodness it will be close to my due date.

Milestones: Third trimester has started!

Movement: This kid is super active. No problems doing my kick count.

Preparation: Haha! Not really any prep going on right now. We need to transition Arthur out of the crib this month so that will be open for the baby.

Baby's (name pending) Stuff: A crafty friend make me a beautiful gray, yellow, and white baby blanket. It's so soft and snuggly! Can't wait to use it.

Taken on Wednesday before heading to the park. Excuse the wet hair and bathroom decor.

Pregnancy Journal -- Second Trimester

Just like last time, I recorded some thoughts during the first trimester and failed to do anything for the second trimester. Mostly the last few weeks have been a blur. My nausea has all but disappeared (yeah for small miracles!), but has been replaced by a variety of other symptoms. My scar tissue causes me near-constant pain. Some days it's only noticeable when I move certain ways. Other days it's a constant burning pain. Definitely annoying and even more so because I can't really do anything about it. I'm also experiencing a ton of groin pain and pressure. Pretty sure the little one is sitting pretty low. And carpal tunnel has started. Thankfully it only affects me at night, but boy is it annoying. The entire house has been battling some virus for the last weeks. I think we keep passing it back and forth. This has definitely dampened my mood. Whatever it is has triggered a few migraines resulting in blurred vision. Not fun at all.

On the lighter side of things, we've narrowed down the little one's name to just a few choices. And I think it will be set within the next few weeks. It wasn't my first choice, but I've really grown to love it. Baby boy will be well-clothed from Arthur's hand-me-downs, so no big purchases over here. I did pick up a Baby Bjorn carrier at a garage sale a few weeks back. We have an Infantino carrier, but this was a steal at $10 and maybe this one like being worn. We're heading to the store within the next weeks to get Arthur a twin size bed to transition him out of the crib. I want to do it a few months before the baby comes to allow Arthur some time to get used to the idea. Otherwise, I'm just living day to day. Looking forward to getting through this last trimester and meeting the little one.

Pregnancy Journal -- First Trimester

Like last time, I'm going to be sharing a few posts about my current pregnancy.This post is a large wrap-up for my first trimester.  I revealed my pregnancy a few weeks ago on FB, but haven't said anything here.  So I guess this is my big post.  I'm going to try and keep the pregnancy info to a minimum but still making sure to share.

Last week of January

I'd been feeling super off and weird for a few days. After checking my calendar and seeing my period was almost a week late, I decided to take a pregnancy test. It was unmistakably positive. Of course, I told J and immediately called Kaiser to set up my first appointment. They usually like to schedule the first visit for sometime between 7-10 weeks. So we set an appointment for February 23rd. They also scheduled my intake phone call. This one was new for me. I did not do this last time, but instead had to go to the medical offices for a "class" that went over medical history, personal info, Kaiser's services, and genetic screening options. I don't know if Kaiser has completely switched to the phone call or if I got one because this will be my second baby with Kaiser. Either way, a 15 minute phone call is way easier than an hour long in person appointment. I also popped into Kaiser for my initial labs. Pretty simple and painless. Now I just have to wait until Feb. 23rd for my appointment.

February 17th

It wasn't time for my appointment, but I decided to try and get in early due to some weird pain. For the past week I'd been having burning/stabby pain localized near my right ovary. After checking online, I became convinced that I have an ectopic pregnancy. From hearing stories, those can go from some pain to serious damage at any time. I dealt with the pain for a few days, but J convinced me to call and get it checked out. I called and got an appointment for the next day. On Wednesday, Arthur and I trudged into the medical offices and were seen by another doctor (not my assigned one as she was off on Wednesdays). After explaining my reason for the visit, the doctor opted for a ultrasound to see what was going on. A few tense moments later and he declared that there was no fetus in my uterus. That left three options: 1) My dates are wrong and I'm only 4 weeks pregnant. In this case, they wouldn't be able to see anything on the portable ultrasound machines. 2) I had a miscarriage. But I had't had any bleeding so that seemed unlikely. 3) I have an ectopic pregnancy. To rule this out, I was being sent to radiology for a more comprehensive scan. If it was an ectopic pregnancy, I would be put into ambulance and sent to the hospital for immediate surgery. Reminder that I had the toddler with me. Once this was said, I immediately started trying to get ahold of J. He was interviewing potential employees all day. 45 minutes later, I was ushered into radiology for the big scan. I had finally gotten ahold of J and he was thoroughly concerned. The tech completed the scan and sent me to the waiting room until the radiology doctor review the scan. 20 minutes later, the tech popped out and told me that I could go home. Um... what? Is that good news or bad news? She couldn't tell me, but stated that the OB doctor would call me in 20 minutes. So weird. I called J and he decided to head home just in case. Arthur and I drove home and waited. Almost an hour after I left the medical offices, the OB called me. His first words "Did they tell you the good news?" Um, no. They didn't tell me anything. Apparently everything is fine. The fetus is where it should be. They detected a heartbeat. I'm measuring 6 weeks, 7 days. The pain is likely due to my previous scar tissue. His advice: take some Tylenol... So crazy day with a lot of stress, but everything's fine.

February 23rd -- First official appointment

I met my midwife (she's awesome!), got an ultrasound just to be safe, and discussed my plan. All very routine and normal. After hearing my crazy story about the emergency visit last week, the midwife was appalled that they didn't tell me anything before I left and stated that they should have read my chart and immediately noted the scar tissue. It's in there. I guess no one really decided to look before freaking me out. Thankfully the midwife was very supportive and comforting. My next appointment isn't until April 5th. Standard procedure. I also need to visit the lab that same day for my first trimester genetic screening blood draw. Perfect timing as Arthur and I are in Indiana March 16th-30th.

End of February - Beginning of March

The nausea is strong. Some days it lasts all day. Some days it comes and goes. I've been trying to mitigate the effects with ginger beer and ginger candy. Sometimes I do notice that it helps. After a bit of discussion with J, I decided to deal with it until my next appointment. If things don't improve, I may ask for a prescription for anti-nausea meds. Hoping to avoid it this time, but sometimes the nausea is so bad that I am incapacitated for hours. Sleep is sometimes good and sometimes bad. In general, I am very tired all the time. All standard symptoms of the first trimester, but ugh!

March 5th

It's my birthday. We had Ityam over for a cookout. I missed enjoying wine for my birthday, but I did get a couple of sips from J's glass. And I enjoyed an amazing 7-layer chocolate cake. So good!

March 10-13th

This weekend was the biannual MVPA mom's retreat. It rained all weekend, but that was a blessing in disguise. I had a great weekend of resting and relaxing. Definitely needed that.

March 16-30th

Arthur and I visited Indiana for the twins' Spring Break. I also announced my pregnancy to family and friends. Now everyone wants to know if it's a boy or girl. Hold your horses everyone! We won't know until sometime in May.

April 5th

Had my 13 week doctor's appointment. I'm really loving my midwife this time around. She's relaxed and friendly, but very efficient. She's actually read my chart multiple times and doesn't lecture me about crap that doesn't pertain to me. We discussed my continuing nausea, and she offered medication, but I decided to hold off for now. She put it out there that I would just need to email to get a prescription. Loving having the option without the hassle of making another appointment. But so far, the nausea is every present yet not as bad as with Arthur. I'm going to see if I can't manage it with ginger chews and sparkling water. We also got the big ultrasound scheduled for May 2nd! So excited about that one.

As of this posting, I'm officially into my second trimester of pregnancy. I'll have another update after the anatomy scan and as I near my third trimester. Wish me luck!

Arthur's Birth Story

I never really documented the twins' birth story, but I feel like I should write these thoughts down if only for my own personal record.  Looking back to the events 10 years ago, I have either forgotten or simply blocked out a ton of things.  Hence, here were go...

The Plan

Nearing the 40 week mark of my pregnancy, I was given a few options in regards for Arthur's birth.  My previous c-section did not preclude me from trying to have a VBAC.  Or I could schedule a c-section.  After some reflection and discussion with my doctor, I decided to try for a VBAC.  I have nothing against c-sections and had a decent experience last time.  I just wanted to leave my options open for this baby.  While we wanted to shoot for a VBAC, the next question concerned what to do if we hit 40 weeks with no baby.  I had the feeling that Arthur was not going to come early or even on time.  Turns out, I was right, but we'll get to that later.  After talking with my doctor, I opted for a scheduled c-section instead of inducement.  My doctor hasn't had great results of induced VBACs.  Usually labor does not progress well and the patient ends up having a c-section anywhere.  So the plan was to hope for a VBAC and then schedule a c-section for the 40 week mark.

Birth Day

The 40 week mark arrived and no baby had arrived.  So we checked into the hospital at 11:30am for a scheduled 1:30pm c-section.  We settled into the room and the nurses proceeded to run through the preop questions and procedures.  Multiple times they remarked that I was very quiet and calm.  I found that to be very funny.  What else should I be like?  Being crazy and crying?  There was nothing for me to do but lay there, answer their questions, and get my body prepped for surgery.  At 1:00pm we rolled into the OR for surgery.  I was given my spinal tap and slowly started to lose feeling in my lower half.  They started the procedure and I felt the same weird pressure/tugging sensation but no pain.  It's definitely an odd feeling...  After what seemed like forever, the doctors informed me that it was going to take a little longer to get him out.  Turns out that after my c-section, I developed a ton of scar tissue.  The scar tissue is normal and healthy in terms of healing.  It just turns out that my amount of scar tissue was a bit excessive.  The scar tissue was attaching my uterus to my abdominal wall.  This resulted in a smaller space in which to pull the baby out.  After more tugging and pressure and bit of vacuum usage, the baby was pulled free.  Just like last time, as soon as I heard the crying, I burst into tears.  The anesthesiologist was concerned, especially after me being so quiet and calm throughout.  Nothing was wrong, those were tears of joy.

After doing the initial screen, the doctors brought Arthur over for some skin-to-skin time.  I didn't get that with the twins.  This was definitely the way to go.  I got to cuddle with my new baby boy while the doctors finished patching me up.  After a few minutes, the doctors wrapped up their business and baby and I were whisked away to our recovery room.  We stayed in the recovery room for about an hour while the nurses did their monitoring of both of us.  We then made the move to the mother/baby unit for the rest of our time.

I have no idea why, but as soon as they got me into the room, I started throwing up.  It was a horrible feeling... The next few hours are a bit of a blur.  We tried to breast feed a bit.  I tried to sleep a bit.  I threw up some more.  Eventually later that night, I managed to keep down some jello and beef broth.  I was in and out of consciousness.  Anytime I was awake, we tried to breastfeed and get some bonding time in.  I thought things were going fairly well.

In the early morning hours, the nurses removed my catheter and got me standing to start the healing process. I absolutely hate that feeling of helplessness.  Eventually the nurses got me up to use the restroom and wash my face.  The pain was intense, but I was expecting it.  I don't believe it was more or less than last time.  The level seemed just right for major surgery.  Wednesday passed in much the same way.  Lots of crying, eating, some sleeping.  And of course, we had the parade of hospital personnel through our room.  I started to have more and more pain around my incision and in my breasts. They switched me to Percocet and Motrin every few hours.

Going Home

The doctors cleared me to leave on Thursday afternoon.  All we needed to do was finish our checklist (vaccine, hearing test, peds check, birth certificate, etc).  At around 11am, I tried to continue breastfeeding, but the pain had become extreme.  I couldn't get Arthur to latch correctly and every time he tried, I had shooting pains through my entire breast.  Not good!  The nurse called for a lactation consultant to come visit me before we left.  Her visit was absolutely horrible.  She was pushy and did not give me any real plan except to stay in the hospital another day.  I wanted, no needed, to go home.  I needed a shower, my own bed, and some sort of routine for all of us.  I told the LC that I would keep working on it, but I needed to get out of there.  I also decided to ask the Peds resident for formula to feed Arthur.  I had a feeling that a lot of his fussiness was from a lack of food.  And I was right!  As soon as he got an ounce of formula in his system, he calmed down and was content to hang out.  So they let us go home with some formula.  I wanted to continue trying to breast feed, but I was in so much pain that I needed a bit of a break to reassess.

We arrived home Thursday afternoon where i promptly showered and ate.  That was the best shower I have ever taken in my life.  I felt like a new person!  And it helped with my pain (probably all in my head, but I'll take it).  Throughout the night, Arthur woke and ate every two hours.  Between J and I we each got a bit of sleep here and there although the transition was a bit rough.

Friday

After a bit of a restless night (for our first it was pretty good), we woke up and started to prepare to head out to our Newborn Club appointment.  Kaiser schedules a Newborn Club visit 1-2 days after being discharged from the hospital.  They are there check baby's vitals, set up peds appointment, discuss on any issues/problems/questions, and discuss breast feeding.  Can you figure out which one I spent a ton of time on?  After explaining to the LC all of my issues with breast feeding so far and checking out the physical evidence, she became very concerned and helpful.  So different than the LC that had visited me in the hospital.  She was most concerned that it looked like I was developing mastitis (infection of breast tissue) and my breasts were definitely engorged.  I was to keep baby off my breasts for 48 hours and pump every 2 hours to relieve the engorgement.  They made another appointment for Sunday to reassess the situation.  Hopefully...

In the mean time, we are settling into a routine and getting to now each other.  Looking forward to what comes next.

Pregnancy Update at 40 Weeks

As this post goes live, I am sitting in the hospital getting ready for my c-section at 1:30pm.  Hopefully all goes well and an update will be put on here soon.

Due Date: Today.  Somehow I always knew that Arthur was not going to make his appearance before his was forcibly removed on my due date.  Stubborn and independent, just like his father.

Weight Gain: In total, I gained 40 pounds.  Definitely over the recommended weight gain, but I'm completely okay with it.  It happened, it's done, now I just need to start focusing on losing the weight and regaining my strength and endurance.  Thank goodness I have access to a pool and gym steps from the apartment.  

Symptoms: The BH contractions stopped this past weekend.  I didn't have any more.  So much for labor progressing naturally.

What’s different this time: Another c-section, but I know what to expect this time.  Just hoping that recovery goes well.

Cravings/Aversions: Absolutely none.  It's weird, but overall I just didn't have any unusual cravings.  Early on, my nausea caused all kinds of aversions, but thankfully those let up after a few months.

Sleep: The past couple of nights have been rough.  I haven't slept well at all.  Not good considering I won't be getting any sleep now.

I am loving: Feeling that I got so much done before the baby came.  I have most of our Christmas cards done.  I finished a ton of Thank You and Arrival cards.  I prepped our Project Life albums.  Introductions pages are done, supplies are organized.  Now I get on to the business of being a mother again.

I miss: Sleep.  I hope that I can at least get a few hours here and there going forward.

I am looking forward to:Meeting Arthur!!!

I’m spazzing about:The fact that J hasn't installed the car seat or hung the curtains.  I hate loose ends...

Best thing about this week:Finally meeting my new son.

Milestones: We made it to 40 weeks.

Movement:Not quite as active as he was a month ago, but he loves being fed.

Exercise/Diet:Nothing really to report.  I hope that I can get back to swimming soon.

Labor Symptoms:Nothing at all.

Preparation:I've done all I can do at this point.  I'm sure that I forgot a few essentials, but that's why we have Amazon Prime.

Arthur’s Stuff:I haven't bought him anything this week.  Eventually I'll pick up a few things here and there, but he's flush with clothes for the first few months.

Pregnancy Update at 39 Weeks

It's Tuesday, which means another week down and still no baby.  I don't think he has any intention of coming out on his own.  So, we have another weekly update.

Due Date: Still on the schedule for a final appointment on October 14th and then c-section on October 15th.  If all goes as planned, I should be home on October 17th or 18th.

Weight Gain: No idea if I've gained any weight this past week (we don't have a scale in the house), but I imagine it might be a pound or so.

Symptoms: Everything hurts... Feels like I completed a triathlon yesterday.  Every bit of me hurts, but it's a constant ache with no real fluctuations.

What’s different this time: Actually it looks like I'll be having a c-section just like last time.  Although I at least know what to expect this time.  I feel like I'll be able to prepare better and gauge my recovery.  Hopefully I will be able to heal just as quickly with no complications.

Cravings/Aversions: Honestly the thought of eating food feels a bit gross at this point.  Everything is so compressed that I don't think I can fit any food in there.

Sleep: Back to hit and miss.  Some nights I sleep like a rock, others I toss and turn.  No matter what type of night I'm having, I have to pee at least 4 times before morning.

I am loving: Packing my hospital bag and diaper bag.  I'm a planner.  I like everything organized and planned out in advance.  I finally got these packed and ready to go (not that I will need the diaper bag anytime soon).  I also organized my under the crib diaper and wipes stash.  Feeling very accomplished this week.

I miss: Alcohol. Feels like I list this every week, but it's so true...

I am looking forward to:Next Tuesday (or before if he decides).

I’m spazzing about:The fact that J just told this weekend that the new company wants to send the PMs to various offices in other countries!  He's planning on taking the rest of October off for paternity leave, but beyond that, no idea.  I just hope the company doesn't want him to leave before the middle the November.  I would like to be physically healed before my live-in support system leaves for another country!

Best thing about this week:Seeing all the babies being born from the October board.  I love seeing all the baby pics.  Makes me really anxious to put my up next week.

Milestones: We've made it all the way without any major health issues.  Very happy about this fact.

Movement:He's a little less active, but I'm convinced it is because there just isn't much room in there.  He still gets pretty excited after I eat, but it's more like slow movements instead of kicks and punches.

Exercise/Diet:Don't make me laugh, it hurts...

Labor Symptoms:Nothing lately.  The BH contractions have even stopped.  I get maybe one or two a day and that's it.

Preparation:J still needs to install the car seat and hang the curtains.  I keep telling him that I'm not supposed to be standing chairs.  I would also like him to put together the bouncer we got from his parents this past week.  Other than that, I made a few final purchases with our Amazon gift card from coworkers.  I remembered to order a foam insert for the baby tub (until he can sit up on his own in the duck bath).  I also decided to buy a monitor for night use instead of a bassinet.  If it becomes absolutely essential, I can always sleep in his room on the twins' bunk bed.  We discussed and decided that a monitor has more long term use than a bassinet.  And through all this, I didn't buy any clothes.  Very proud of myself!

Arthur’s Stuff: At our work baby shower last Friday, we received four very geeky onesies: one Star Wars themed and three Star Trek themed.  This kid is going to be dressed awesomely!  We also received a baby play gym and some sleepers and onesies from friends in Nebraska.  Very cute!

Pregnancy Update at 38 Weeks

This week's update is coming a day late due to my appointment being a day later than usual.  I wanted to get any new information from my check-up before finishing this week's update.

Due Date: October 15th, 2013.  We now have a c-section scheduled for October 15th at 1:30pm if he decides to hang out until then.  Actually I was given the choice of Oct. 9, 14, or 15.  I really liked the 15th if I was going to pick a birthday for my newest.  We'll see what he decides... I also have an appointment scheduled for the 14th to do some final checks.  That's his last chance to come on his own.

Weight Gain: I've surpassed the 30 pound mark and I just don't care.  What's done is done, I'm looking to the future weight loss after having a healthy baby.

Symptoms: Everything that I've been feeling: insomnia, constant need to pee, lots of pressure, carpal tunnel, plantar fasciitis, nausea, and indigestion.  At this point, everything hurts.  My entire body aches.  And he's as active as ever which makes it even more painful.

What’s different this time: The same is that it looks like he has no intention of coming naturally.  What's different is that I know what to except with a c-section.  Many of the ladies on the pregnancy board have expressed fear of the the procedure.  Not me.  It will be painful and uncomfortable (but that's having a baby no matter the method), but I think I'll be able to manage just fine.

Cravings/Aversions: I've been sticking to my one PSL a week rule.  I get my craving, but don't go overboard.  However, I've been noticing that I have a major sweet tooth lately.  I can't tell if it's due to pregnancy or the fall season.  I want to make cake and cookies and muffins.  

Sleep: Surprisingly, I've been sleeping a lot better this past week.  I still have to get up to pee many times a night, but I've been falling right back to sleep once my head hits the pillow.  Hopefully, we can keep this up even after the baby's born.

I am loving: Nothing at the moment.  Just ready to move to the next stage.

I miss: Alcohol.  I know I've listed it before, but this past week I've really been missing it.  I want a seasonal beer or a nice glass of wine.  it didn't help when J ordered a glass of wine when we went out to dinner last weekend.  I wanted to snatch the glass away and gulp it down.  A few more weeks...

I am looking forward to: Meeting this little guy.  I am not waiting patiently at all...

I’m spazzing about: Having all these random contractions, but no real progress toward labor.  Geez, he is really liking faking me out.

Best thing about this week: My baby shower last Sunday.  We had food, fun, and friends.  It was nice to get out of the house for something.  Plus, I got some great gifts.  Thanks to everyone involved!

Milestones: He's officially beyond full term.

Movement: Still super active, but it feels like there's no more room in there.  So now the movement is more painful to me.

Exercise/Diet: This is now a complete joke...

Labor Symptoms: I feel like I'm just rewriting the paragraph from last time.  Per the doctor, baby is head down right above my cervix.  However, I am not dilated at all yet. Still having the random BH contractions, but none are in a pattern or consistent.  The doctor stated today that he doesn't the think the baby will be arriving on his own and I completely agree.

Preparation: The room essentials are all done and ready to go.  I want J to install the car seat this week, but he's dragging his feet a bit.  I still need to finish packing my hospital bag.  And there are a few things I need to pick up at Target: diapers (not a single one as a gift), bottles (just in case), pacifiers, and curtains (too bright in there).  Hopefully I can make it to Target later this afternoon and wrap up my shopping.  I just need to remind myself that no matter how cute they are, he doesn't need any more clothes at the moment.  I need to avoid that section at all costs.

Arthur’s Stuff: I received quite a few gifts at my baby shower and even some of those were from my registries.  I don't mind when people buy off registry, but I've always found them useful from the gift giving side.  The decals are on the wall, but the A-Z space print is currently laying on the bed unframed.  I need to decided how nice of a frame I want for it.  Other than that, his crib is ready for him.  Just waiting now...

Pregnancy Update at 36 Weeks

Hmmm... I think I'm done with this pregnancy.  I've reached the point in the pregnancy where I'm constantly uncomfortable.  Only four more weeks, or less!

Due Date: October 15th, 2013 (at the very latest, he will be coming somewhere around October 22nd via C-section; the doctor has put in request for a c-section appointment and I should here something this week)

Weight Gain: I've officially gained 29 pounds so far.  That's over the Kaiser recommended 20 pounds, but I'm okay with my weight gain.  At this point, I'm like whatever... I know I'll have to weight to lose after the birth.  I hope to get out on daily walks when I'm cleared by the doctor.  Thankfully the weather around here should be cooperative.

Symptoms: Lots of uncomfortable symptoms.

• Insomnia — I was sleeping decently and then the last two nights, good sleep went out the window.
• Constant restroom breaks — So far, I haven't peed myself.  I am proud of my body.  But I do constantly have to pee.
• Pressure — Pressure is remaining basically constant. According to the doctor today, the baby is head down and in perfect position.  The pressure won't be letting up anytime soon.
• Carpal tunnel — After a few weeks of no symptoms, the numbness is back with a vengeance.  The other night I woke up three times with numbness up to my elbow on the left side. Not a great feeling at all.
• Plantar fasciitis — Constant feet pain. Thankfully my orange sandals are fairly comfortable.  They're about the only pair of shoes I wear at this point.
• Nausea — It's back!  I feel like I have to throw up most of the day, but I don't.  It's exactly like the first trimester. Ewww....
• Indigestion — Off and on.  I think it really gets me if I try to eat a large meal.  I need to be better about small meals multiple times throughout the day.

What's different this time: Even with my 29 pound weight gain, that's much less than with the twins.  Thank goodness!  I feel like this is much more manageable.  I feel much less swollen and gross. I was looking at pictures from ten years ago and my goodness I was a cow!  I am looking so much better this time around.  I think just that little change has had a positive impact on my entire attitude towards this pregnancy.  Only four weeks ago and I'm trying to hold on to that positive outlook.

Cravings/Aversions: Pumpkin Spice Lattes.  Of course that may be more because it's fall than due to the pregnancy.  But my goodness, I want one every day.  Thankfully I have limited myself to one a week.

Sleep: Hit and miss.  

I am loving: All the cute!  I really started decorating Arthur's section of the room this week and I'm finding way too many cute things.  And I love how his little clothes look laid out on the bed.  Adorable!

I miss: Being able to breather normally.  Since the beginning of this pregnancy, I've had a stuffed up nose.  It's absolutely constant.  And now with lots of pressure and lots of baby, I'm finding it even harder to breathe normally and deeply.  It just doesn't happen at all.  

I am looking forward to: My "secret" baby shower.  Yeah, I know...  but I'll still act all surprised when I arrive.  I can't wait to see everybody.

I'm spazzing about: Not much.  I'm just waiting.  The pregnancy boards have been full of mommas-to-be concerned about this or that.  I'm just sitting here wanting him to hurry up and arrive.  Much calmer than last time.

Best thing about this week: Getting a few deliveries (crib and travel system).  I love getting packages, especially when they are essentials.

Milestones: One more week until the baby's considered full term.  We are pushing for 39 weeks, but anytime is fine.

Movement: Overall movement has slowed down a bit, but now it's more noticeable and hurts more.  He still loves to roll around and punch and kick after I eat, but now there's less room to do so.  It's more of lots of pressure in weird places as he tries to moves.

Exercise/Diet: Still trying to swim, but usually I end up just floating in the pool.  It relieves all the pressure and pain.  

Labor Symptoms: Per the doctor, baby is head down right above my cervix.  However, I am not dilated at all yet.  Didn't really expect to be, but since he was down there I asked him to check.  We discussed the other labor symptoms a bit.  I've had some Braxton Hick's contradictions throughout the weekend, but those seem to have stopped.  My grandmother is convinced that I will go early, but after this appointment I just don't see it happening.

Preparation: I finished 16 different Arrival cards and started organizing things to start his Project Life scrapbook.  I have the inserts and the album.  I want to make the first few pages (ultrasounds, cards, etc) before he arrives so I can dive right into the weekly spreads.  The same goes for the family album, but first I need to get that one up to date from our summer activities.

Without having to be reminded, J put together the crib this weekend.  It's in place and ready for a baby.  Plus, we put together the travel system.  I just need to install the car seat base into the car.  I'm loving the idea of having only one!  J needs to visit Lowe's for some chain to hang the mobile above the crib.  Probably happen next weekend.  I started tidying up the rest of the room, but we still have some random items in there (laser disc player, microphone, pile of receipts) that someone needs to clean up.

Arthur's Stuff: I found and ordered some awesome vinyl decals for above his crib.  We're going with a retro space theme.  I also snapped up a great A-Z Space poster for a blank spot on the wall.  I want to get those on the wall as soon as they arrive. The only blank spot left is the one reserved for his birth announcement print.  I have it all picked out on Etsy, just need to get the details when he arrives.  Once I finish most of the nursery, I'll be posting pics (probably 38 week update post).

I currently have two baby registries: one for Target and one for Amazon.  I thought it would be easier for relatives and friends to have the choice of shopping in store or online.  Amazon is constantly sending me a email telling me that something was bought off of my registry.  It's taking all my willpower not to look at the Thank Yous page to see what was bought.  I want to be surprised, but Amazon, you are not making this easy.

Pregnancy Update at 34 Weeks

Due Date: October 15th, 2013 (at the very latest, he will be coming on October 22nd via C-section)

Weight Gain: According to my last appointment, I had gained 2 more pounds during that last month. I imagine that I've gained a pound or two in the last two weeks.  I'll have to wait until my 36 week appointment to get a scale reading (we don't have scales in our house). Still above my doctor's recommended, but below being a major problem.

Symptoms: For the most part, the same as last update...

• Insomnia — Hasn't been as bad as it was, but I still have nights when I can't sleep at all.
• Constant restroom breaks — The frequency has stayed the same, but the urgency has increased.  Now we I feel the need to use to the restroom, it's an immediate need. Unfortunately, I can only walk so fast to the restroom...  This may become an issue.
• Pressure — Lots and lots of pressure.  My stomach has gotten much hard feeling and every movement can be felt.  When he's active, Arthur puts a ton of pressure on part of my body.
• Carpal tunnel — I haven't had an episode for a few days now. Yeah!
• Plantar fasciitis — Some days I can hardly stand on my feet. I can't wait to get rid of this symptom.
• Nausea — I definitely need to watch what I eat right now.  Anything too heavy and I get nauseous.  From the nausea, I experience a lot of gas and general ickiness.  Not a fun time at all.
• Indigestion — It has cropped up in the last few days.  It got so bad the other day, I thought I was actually going to throw up.  Eww!!  Thankfully, I didn't.

What's different this time: I think I'm much calmer this time. I don't have much anxiety over what's going to happen in the next few weeks.  I'm taking every day as it comes.  This is a much better mindset than last time.  I'm actually enjoying myself a bit.

Cravings/Aversions: No cravings, no major aversions.  Although I friend the day was surprised to learn that I didn't have any weird cravings.  Of course, his example of cravings was pickles.  I love pickles, always have.  Maybe I just always have weird cravings pregnant or no.

Sleep: It comes and goes.  Some nights are good, others are horrible. Last night, I could not get comfortable and therefore, I could not sleep.  Eventually I passed out for a few hours, but it was not a restful night at all. 

I am loving: The few sips of wine I had on Saturday.  We had friends over for a cookout and game day (board games of course).  One of our guests brought a bottle of wine (like we don't have enough bottles of our own, but it was a nice gesture).  I refrained from pouring myself a glass, but I did snag a couple of sips from J's.  Yummy! 

I miss: Energy.  I feel like I am losing energy every day. I just don't want to do anything.  I imagine that this will be an issue for the rest of the pregnancy.  Hopefully I regain some energy after the baby is born.

I am looking forward to: Finally buying a crib and stroller/car seat.  I picked up my paychecks, they are in the bank, funds will be available tomorrow.  So my Wednesday will be filled with shopping and a doctor's appointment.  I already know which crib and travel system I am going to order off of Amazon.  But, I'm still feeling the urge to shop.  I thought I would grab some crafting supplies (mostly snail) and browse at Marshall's or TJ Maxx.  Sometimes I find some great deals there.  And unlike Target, I am not guaranteed to come out with an entire cart full of purchases.

I'm spazzing about: I am a part of the October 2013 board over at Hellobee and one of our members' water just broke at 31 weeks.  They are putting her on bed rest in the hopes that she gets to 34 weeks before delivering.  While I am now 34 weeks, I'm still afraid that he will come early.  A few days is fine, but definitely not weeks early.  I want him to stay in there and grow big and healthy before making an appearance.

Best thing about this week: Over on the Hellobee board, we've all started trying to guess our little one's birthday.  Most of the people are guessing earlier than their due dates.  I decided to predict that Arthur will not make an appearance on his own and will have to be forcibly removed on October 22nd via c-section (no inducing over here).  I know I just wrote about being worried he would come early, but once the panic passes, I really don't think he will. So that's my prediction and bit of fun news.

Milestones: The baby now has all his senses developing.  Last night he kicked me really hard in the side and I started admonishing him to stop.  J's response was "I know he can hear voices, but he can't understand you."  Yes I know... but I keep trying to get him to understand that hard kicks to my spleen (or whatever it was) hurt.

Movement: From the above point, you can guess that he is incredibly active.  As far as I can tell, he's still laying across my stomach.  I get kicks and punches on both sides and occasionally down low.

Exercise/Diet: Still trying to watch what I eat.  Thankfully, I'm not as hungry as I was making it a lot easier to focus on small meals and not overeat.  But exercise (except for the occasional swim) has just about gone out the window.  I'm much too sore to do anything strenuous.

Preparation: I finished 16 different Thank You cards using my favorite little boy combination of Stampin' Up colors: Gumball Green, Marina Mist, and Pumpkin Pie.  I wanted to make my own cards for the fun personal touch.  My next goal is to make arrival card templates to be ready when Arthur makes his appearance.  I'm using the same color scheme, but will obviously change up the messages and such.

On the nursery front, we haven't bought anything useful yet.  However, my plan is to order the crib and travel system this week with my last paycheck (forgot to get from the office, have to wait for bank deposit delay because of holiday).  I've finally decided on models, so we should have the big essentials by the weekend.  Then I just have to get J to put them together...  J also decided that he wasn't fond of the chair we bought from Ikea, so I officially get it for a nursery rocker.  Loving that chair!

Arthur's Stuff: J surprised me by buying a mobile we had seen on Etsy a while back.  Of course, we had to go uber geek and buy a mobile of wooden Enterprises (Star Trek ship for all you nongeeks out there).  It's a beautiful handmade mobile of dark wood that we can use as a decoration long after he's a baby.  Very excited to see it above the crib soon.

Pregnancy Update at 32 Weeks

The other day I realized that I haven't done a detailed pregnancy update since the end of my first trimester.  I always include a little update in my Sunday Sunset posts, but they're always so brief.  As I am now in my third trimester, 32 weeks today, I thought it was a good time to write more.

Due Date: October 15th, 2013 (at the very latest, he will be coming on October 22nd via C-section)

Weight Gain: About 22 lbs.  The doctor is not super excited about my weight gain.  He/insurance company want only a 20 pound weight gain.  Obviously I've exceeded that already, but really most women I know gained more like 30 pounds total.  And 22 pounds is way less than with the twins.  So feeling pretty good...

Symptoms: Where do I start...

• Insomnia -- Some nights I'm okay, but then I will not be able to sleep at all for days on end.  I'm sure J hates my constant tossing and turning to get to sleep, but there's really not much I can do.  I'm just tihinking of this as my body prepping me for more sleep deprivation after the baby comes.
• Constant restroom breaks -- The usual.  Pressure on my bladder has increased my restroom frequency.  5-6 times a night and probably twice that during the day.  I am trying to drink a lot of water (doctor recommended), so that is definitely contributing.  But I'm always so thirsty!  This is just a bit of a nuisance, not really a big issue.
• Pressure -- Over the last two weeks, I had increased pressure in my pelvic region.  The doctor says it's just the baby moving and starting to settle low (good position!), but good graciousness it is uncomfortable!  Almost like near constant menstrual cramping.
• Carpal tunnel -- Back at the beginning of the second trimester, I started waking up with numb hands.  Turns out pregnancy can bring on carpal tunnel due to weight gain and water retention.  Thankfully the numbness is fairly infrequent now and hasn't spread to daytime occurances.  According to the doctor, this should go away after the baby is born.  I hope so.  I hate the feeling of numbness...
• Plantar fasciitis -- Another fun pregnancy induced issue.  This is beyond sore feet.  It feels like knives in the bottom of my feet when I walk.  It occurs more frequently right after waking up and late at night.  Another thing that should go away after having the baby.
• Nausea -- After horrid nausea during the first trimester, I had no issue during the second.  Now it's back.  Thankfully not as bad as the first, but it can be a nuisance.  Just a general feeling of queasiness for the most part.
• Indigestion -- I think this is related to the nausea.  I haven't had any heartburn, but definitely lots of indigestion throughout.  Not very much fun.

What's different this time: Considering I had the boys 10 years ago, I'm convinced that I blocked a lot of the pregnancy out of my mind.  However, I do remember being extremely tired at this point.  I was so big and uncomfortable and it was winter in Indiana.  I'm pretty sure it just made me super tired.  Plus, my mood was all over the place throughout that entire pregnancy.

This time I have lots more energy, though still tired.  I'm also much smaller (thank goodness!).  And my mood has been fairly stable throughout.  I haven't had the crazy mood swings but I do cry at the littlest things (mostly tv and music).  I've been feeling good and excited about what's to come.

Cravings/Aversions: Aversions are mostly gone at this point.  I still crave lots of fresh fruit and water.  But thankfully I can eat just about anything I want.

Sleep: Ha ha!  That's a joke right?  Because of the trouble sleeping and the insomnia, I have resorted to the occasional nap in the afternoon.  Anyone who knows me knows I can't take naps.  This is a big development for me.  I'm certain the naps will increase in frequency until the baby comes.

I am loving: The general comments I have been getting.  Everyone keeps telling me that I've got that pregnancy glow.  I have no idea what they're talking about, but it makes me happy to think that I'm somewhat enjoying pregnancy this time around.

I miss: Wine and sushi...  seriously!  First meal after delivery, I want some spicy tuna and dragon rolls and a nice cab or syrah or malbec.  Yummy!

I am looking forward to: Getting him out.  As improved as this pregnancy is over the twins, I am just about done with the whole thing.  Looking forward to October.

I'm spazzing about: The baby's growth.  I've mentioned before about the doctors finding out that the baby has a two vessel cord instead of a three vessel cord.  Everything is progressing fine so far, but I have to have extra ultrasounds to monitor his progress.  Every time I freak out just a bit before the procedure.  Thankfully he's still right on track for growth.  I have another ultrasound on Sept. 4th, but the doctors keep telling me it's just a precautionary matter.

Milestones: We've made it past the point of questionable viability.  I love that even if he comes early, his chances of survival are very high.  Love modern medical technology!

Movement: Ridiculous!  He is so incredibly active.  My pregnancy emails keep telling me that movement will start to decrease because of limited space, but that is so not true for this one.  He's constantly rolling, punching, and kicking.  My goodness!  I cannot get over how much more active he is compared to the twins.  I imagine part of that is because the boys just didn't have much room to move after a certain point.

Exercise/Diet: Ha ha!  This is another fun category.  I've tried to keep to some type of diet and not over-eat, but I am constantly hungry.  Instead, I am trying to stick healthy snacks and fruit.

Preparation: We are so far behind on this.  On the medical side, I have filled out the birth plan.  I have talked to the doctor about what I want.  We're going to try for a VBAC and only do a C-section as a last resort.  Also, we will schedule a C-section on October 22nd if he doesn't come before then.  There will be no induction.  I've also made a list of things to pack for my hospital bag, but haven't packed it yet.  I did just grab a cheap nightshirt to wear instead of the regular scratchy hospital gown.  I should start getting that stuff together in a pile somewhere...

On the nursery/baby prep side, we are far far behind.  My essentials list is a crib, a stroller/car seat system, a chair (glider or rocker) for nursing, and possibly a bassinet.  Unfortunately, we don't have any of those.  I do have the items I want on the baby registry, I just need to order them.  I'll get to it soon.  And then J gets to put this stuff together.  On a related note, we are currently in a slight disagreement about the chair issue.  I found a stylish and cheap chair at Ikea, but J is convinced that the chair is much too large for the room.  Instead of buying the chair the other day, we bought one for J's new living room chair.  I still think it would fit great in the nursery.  I just need to convince him of it and get us to head back to Ikea.

Here's a pick of the empty room:

Arthur's Stuff: He's acquiring quite a full closet of clothes and random things. J's parents just sent us a box of cute little onsies and socks.  Very cute!  And Arthur finally has a few little hats to keep his head warm.  Plus, we've acquired some small toys and receiving blankets.  Very adorable!  Lastly, I bought a cute cardigan with bow tie outfit for Christmas.  I can't wait to see it on him...

Pregnancy Journal -- First Trimester

I'm starting a pregnancy journal to chronicle the ups and downs of trying to have another child.  This post is a large wrap-up for my first trimester.  I just revealed my pregnancy last week, so I guess this is my big post.  I'm going to try and keep the pregnancy info to a minimum but still making sure to share.

February 8th

We've been trying to conceive since last October, but nothing had come of it.  I didn't want to stress too much, so we weren't really tracking ovulation.  It was more-or-less just a go-with-the-flow attempt.  I was getting a bit frustrated that I wasn't pregnant yet.  Last time, I conceived less than two months after starting to try.  This time it took a little more than 3 months.  I was hoping to be pregnant before Christmas, but nothing.  About a week ago, I started feeling odd.  I was still a few days from my period, but took a test anyway.  It was one of those "one control line, another line for pregnant."  I had one and half lines.  Weird!  I took a pregnancy test today as my period was supposed to start on the 5th.  It's a positive positive positive!  This is super exciting, but at the same time I am scared to death.  My miscarriage happened at 11 weeks after multiple appointments and ultrasounds where everything was just perfect.

After taking the test, I immediately told Josh, but we kept our excitement to basically nothing.  I also informed my mom and called to make an appointment (Feb. 26th was the earliest available).  So I guess I have to wait until then to see what's actually going on...

February 16th -- 6 weeks along

I am exhausted!  I don't remember being this tired with the boys or with the last pregnancy.  Every fiber of my body is tired constantly.  I feel a bit better after eating, but not a huge amount.  I lay down to sleep, but sleep does not come.  As tired as I am, I have insomnia. I also have almost constant headaches.  These seem to be similar to last time.  Lastly, I have lots of gas and stomach pains.  The baby sites say that constipation and gas are very common symptoms.  I've never had to deal with that before, but it seems to be a big symptom this time.  I haven't had much nausea, but haven't ruled that out coming soon.  I hope some of these symptoms clear up in the next few weeks.

As to my general feelings, this pregnancy doesn't seem real at all.  I intellectually know I'm pregnant, but I feel nothing.  I think I've put myself in this mindset because of the previous miscarriage.  Every time I go to the bathroom, I look for blood.  I take most symptoms as the beginnings of another miscarriage.  I don't think I'll be completely involved until after 12 weeks.  I have to make it past the previous pregnancy's end.  Josh knows of course.  But the only other person who knows is mom and she's been sworn to secrecy.  I have given her orders to keep quiet until at least 12 weeks.  Once I feel more confident about getting to the end, I will announce to others.  I just feel too uncomfortable at the prospect of dealing with others in the case of another miscarriage.

February 18th

The nausea has begun! (cue dramatic music)  I have been hit with all day nausea for two days now.  It only abates during and right after eating.  And I am constantly hungry.  Nausea and hunger at the same time is a odd feeling.  Josh doesn't get my crazy, but has been dutifully supplying me with food.  I'm also starting to get some food aversions. Anything too cooked/greasy makes me extra queasy.  I've been gravitating towards lots of Thai and Japanese dishes with rice and sandwiches.  While pregnant with the boys I basically ate salads and Subway for nine months.  I don't really want that to be same this time, but it may be starting.  Who knows?  I could also lose all nausea in a few weeks and be perfectly fine.  Pregnancies are tricky things.  I blame the fickle nature of the growing parasite.

February 23rd

The nausea has not let up.  In fact, it's gotten worse in the past week.  I've tried many things, but nothing seems to work well.  I finally broke down and took a Zofran (left over from my miscarriage and surgery).  The medication helped somewhat, but only to take the edge off.  The past two nights I've gotten a bit more consistent sleep.  But I still have issues of getting to sleep.  My first appointment is in three days.  I can't wait to get some reassurances/clarifications.  I'm just so worried about what the scans will find.  Mom says that the nausea and other symptoms are a good sign.  Looking back, I was very sick with the boys and hardly at all with the last pregnancy.  Maybe there's something to the sickness theory.  I hope so...  else this just sucks.

February 26th

I had my first prenatal appointment today.  I was nervous, but thankfully my doctor is just amazing and reassured all my fears and doubts.  After the requisite general questions, we got on to the business of an ultrasound.  A few tense moments later, the doctor proclaimed everything looking great.  By his calculations, I am 7 weeks along.  My due date is October 15th.  I have another appointment scheduled for March 25th and the required pregnancy class on March 13th.  Right after, I made sure to let mom know, but she's sworn to secrecy until after my next appointment.

March 11th

I had a glass of wine last night.  Oh how I miss it!

March 13th

I had my prenatal class today.  For the most part they just reiterate what's in the informational booklet.  Pretty boring...  But they do order your labs.  So I went downstairs to get my blood drawn and they couldn't find a vein.  It happens every time.  The lab tech finally settled for a vein in my hand.  Ouch!  Of course, the blood took forever to come out.  In that eternity, I started to lose it.  I almost passed out right there in the lab.  I have a huge aversion to needles, but they was extreme even for me.  I'm thinking it was combination of my phobia and low blood sugar.  With the ongoing nausea I find it hard to eat at any regular times.  This morning my nausea was horrid and I didn't really eat breakfast.  Hence, problems.  At least I don't have to do more blood tests until the second trimester.

April 8th

I've made to the end of the first trimester.  Woohoo!  I've made it to the next stage.  The nausea is still here, but it has been lessening over the last two weeks.  Last week I had my 11-14 week checkup.  The doctor did an extra ultrasound to calm my fears of another miscarriage.  Everything looked amazing and was growing perfectly.  I won't be back to the doctor until May 21st (for the big ultrasound!).  Looking forward to the second trimester and more energy.

Some Personal News

WARNING: This post contains very personal tragic news.  It also contains graphic descriptions... I initially didn't want to write this post, but then I thought that I needed to.  If not only for myself.    A few weeks ago I announced that we were having a baby in March.  I was super excited.  I started thinking of nursery ideas.  I made an Amazon baby registry.  We picked out a boy's and a girl's name.  I started to plan my coming year around the arrival.

And then this week everything went horribly wrong  At dinner on Sunday, I noticed some bleeding.  I was concerned and called the nurses' advice line.  Since I wasn't having any pain, they just asked me to monitor.  Around 11pm, I started having cramps and heavier bleeding.  Again I called the nurses' line.  Again they told me to monitor.  If things became worse, I was to go to the ER.  They were going to call me the next morning with an available appointment time.  I spent a sleepless night waiting for something to change, one way or another.  Morning came, I called, and an appointment opened up at 9:45am.  By this time, the cramps had gotten worse, but the bleeding was slowing.

I went to the doctor.  After doing a cursory physical exam, we moved on to the important task: a vaginal ultrasound.  The doctor didn't like the quality of the picture, so he called for a newer model.  Right then, I knew it wasn't good news.  The new machine was brought in and he spent an inordinate amount of time looking at the pictures.  Because he didn't immediately reassure me of a heartbeat, I knew something was terribly wrong.  He confirmed that sometime between my last ultrasound and this week the baby lost a heartbeat.  But I hadn't completely miscarried yet.  After a few tearful moments in the exam room, we moved to the doctor's office to discuss what happens next.  My actual OB called me to set up a D and C for Thursday.  Once that is completed, this pregnancy will be over.

So I went home, cried, and eventually went to sleep.  I awoke around 4:30am needing to go to the bathroom.  As soon as I reached the toilet, there was a huge gush of blood and horrible cramps.  I sat there for a few minutes, but the pain became so intense I just couldn't move.  I had J call 911.  They came, asked a ton of questions, and put me in an ambulance.  We arrived at the hospital, they admitted me to the ER, and hooked me up to many many wires.  Over the next two hours, they game me an IV, took blood, and called the doctor in for an exam.  During the exam, the pain became intense.  They decided to give me morphine.  They ordered the OB for consult and an ultrasound.  Those didn't come for another four hours.  They finally wheeled me to ultrasound.  The regular ultrasound went fairly okay.  But then the tech wanted me to use the restroom to perform a vaginal ultrasound.  As soon as I sat up, blood went everywhere.  I make it to the bathroom, but in the process made a huge mess of the restroom.  The tech said that I passed over a cup of blood clots.  She performed the ultrasound, but it was intense. They wheeled me back to my ER room, however the pain increased to beyond intense.  I couldn't take it.  They eventually gave me two doses of morphine plus another pain drug (don't remember the name as I was in so much pain).  After another two hours, they decided to send me home...

And that was another adventure. Trying to get dressed in the hospital, I lost another huge amount of blood and ruined most of my clothes.  Oh well.  They can be washed.  We visited the discharge pharmacy to pick up my prescriptions of Percocet and Zofran (anti-nausea medication).  All this time, I was extremely light headed and nauseous.  I'm not quite sure how the hell I made it through the ride home.  As soon as I arrived, I headed to the bathroom where I passed a huge amount of blood and tissue.  After a few minutes, I made it back to the bed and went to sleep.  I managed to eat a bowl of soup at some point that evening, settling my stomach and giving me a bit of energy.  I managed to stay awake for a few hours, but crashed pretty soon.  Except for a few mid-night bathroom visits, I sleep for over twelve hours.

I woke up Wednesday in much better spirits and much less pain.  I managed to eat again and decrease my pain medication by an amount.  I only took a few Percocets (less than the prescription) and supplemented with Ibuprofen (per doctor's suggestion).  The dizziness and nausea continued, but less than Tuesday's symptoms.

On Thursday, I returned to the hospital for my D and C (Dilation and Curettage).  Basically they clean everything out.  Unfortunately I couldn't eat or drink for hours beforehand.  I arrived, dressed in those o-so-lovely hospital gowns, and received an IV.  God I really hate getting stuck with those damn needles.  After reviewing my chart and medical history, my OB came to speak to me beforehand.  We reviewed my ER visit and everything that had happened since.  They wheeled me into the procedure room and injected me with some drugs.  The actual procedure only took about 15 minutes.  In and out.  I was back in the recovery area letting the drugs leave my system.  I finally got to have a drink of water.  J had a chat with the doctor and grabbed my standard prescription for an antibiotic.  Within the next half hour, I was dressed and ready to return home.

I was very hungry, so J picked me up a Subway sandwich on the way home.  After eating and taking some pain meds, I felt much better.  The doctor told me that I will have mild cramps and bleeding for another few days, but everything should start to clear up soon.  Already I feel much better.  My appetite is coming back.  The cramps and bleeding have decreased.  And I have lessened my pain meds dosage.  I think this is finally ending...

So what I am feeling?  Loss, pain, emptiness.  Everything was going fine.  There was no reason to be concerned.  And yet, statistics tell us that 1 in 4 pregnancies end in a miscarriage.  This isn't completely uncommon.  But it was a shock to me.  Now I am rethinking my future.  I want to have more biological children.     However, I'm so scared that this will happen again.  Even if I do get pregnant again, I don't think I'll be telling anyone until well into the second trimester.  Is there anyone else out there that has been in the same situation?  I feel like miscarriage is one of those topics that no one discusses.

Big News!

It's official.  We found out on Friday that we're going to have a baby.  9 weeks along.  Due date: March 1st. So this explains my horrid health for the last few weeks.  I've had a near constant low level headache, all day nausea, and trouble sleeping.  At first, I just thought I was coming down with something.  But then, things started to come together and I started to think something else might be going on.  And it was... There's a baby growing in there and of course my body doesn't like it.  But we are excited!  A new little baby coming in a few months.

I imagine that there will be some update posts along the way.  And of course, come March there will be a ton of pics to share.