I'm starting a pregnancy journal to chronicle the ups and downs of trying to have another child.  This post is a large wrap-up for my first trimester.  I just revealed my pregnancy last week, so I guess this is my big post.  I'm going to try and keep the pregnancy info to a minimum but still making sure to share.

February 8th

We've been trying to conceive since last October, but nothing had come of it.  I didn't want to stress too much, so we weren't really tracking ovulation.  It was more-or-less just a go-with-the-flow attempt.  I was getting a bit frustrated that I wasn't pregnant yet.  Last time, I conceived less than two months after starting to try.  This time it took a little more than 3 months.  I was hoping to be pregnant before Christmas, but nothing.  About a week ago, I started feeling odd.  I was still a few days from my period, but took a test anyway.  It was one of those "one control line, another line for pregnant."  I had one and half lines.  Weird!  I took a pregnancy test today as my period was supposed to start on the 5th.  It's a positive positive positive!  This is super exciting, but at the same time I am scared to death.  My miscarriage happened at 11 weeks after multiple appointments and ultrasounds where everything was just perfect.

After taking the test, I immediately told Josh, but we kept our excitement to basically nothing.  I also informed my mom and called to make an appointment (Feb. 26th was the earliest available).  So I guess I have to wait until then to see what's actually going on...

February 16th -- 6 weeks along

I am exhausted!  I don't remember being this tired with the boys or with the last pregnancy.  Every fiber of my body is tired constantly.  I feel a bit better after eating, but not a huge amount.  I lay down to sleep, but sleep does not come.  As tired as I am, I have insomnia. I also have almost constant headaches.  These seem to be similar to last time.  Lastly, I have lots of gas and stomach pains.  The baby sites say that constipation and gas are very common symptoms.  I've never had to deal with that before, but it seems to be a big symptom this time.  I haven't had much nausea, but haven't ruled that out coming soon.  I hope some of these symptoms clear up in the next few weeks.

As to my general feelings, this pregnancy doesn't seem real at all.  I intellectually know I'm pregnant, but I feel nothing.  I think I've put myself in this mindset because of the previous miscarriage.  Every time I go to the bathroom, I look for blood.  I take most symptoms as the beginnings of another miscarriage.  I don't think I'll be completely involved until after 12 weeks.  I have to make it past the previous pregnancy's end.  Josh knows of course.  But the only other person who knows is mom and she's been sworn to secrecy.  I have given her orders to keep quiet until at least 12 weeks.  Once I feel more confident about getting to the end, I will announce to others.  I just feel too uncomfortable at the prospect of dealing with others in the case of another miscarriage.

February 18th

The nausea has begun! (cue dramatic music)  I have been hit with all day nausea for two days now.  It only abates during and right after eating.  And I am constantly hungry.  Nausea and hunger at the same time is a odd feeling.  Josh doesn't get my crazy, but has been dutifully supplying me with food.  I'm also starting to get some food aversions. Anything too cooked/greasy makes me extra queasy.  I've been gravitating towards lots of Thai and Japanese dishes with rice and sandwiches.  While pregnant with the boys I basically ate salads and Subway for nine months.  I don't really want that to be same this time, but it may be starting.  Who knows?  I could also lose all nausea in a few weeks and be perfectly fine.  Pregnancies are tricky things.  I blame the fickle nature of the growing parasite.

February 23rd

The nausea has not let up.  In fact, it's gotten worse in the past week.  I've tried many things, but nothing seems to work well.  I finally broke down and took a Zofran (left over from my miscarriage and surgery).  The medication helped somewhat, but only to take the edge off.  The past two nights I've gotten a bit more consistent sleep.  But I still have issues of getting to sleep.  My first appointment is in three days.  I can't wait to get some reassurances/clarifications.  I'm just so worried about what the scans will find.  Mom says that the nausea and other symptoms are a good sign.  Looking back, I was very sick with the boys and hardly at all with the last pregnancy.  Maybe there's something to the sickness theory.  I hope so...  else this just sucks.

February 26th

I had my first prenatal appointment today.  I was nervous, but thankfully my doctor is just amazing and reassured all my fears and doubts.  After the requisite general questions, we got on to the business of an ultrasound.  A few tense moments later, the doctor proclaimed everything looking great.  By his calculations, I am 7 weeks along.  My due date is October 15th.  I have another appointment scheduled for March 25th and the required pregnancy class on March 13th.  Right after, I made sure to let mom know, but she's sworn to secrecy until after my next appointment.

March 11th

I had a glass of wine last night.  Oh how I miss it!

March 13th

I had my prenatal class today.  For the most part they just reiterate what's in the informational booklet.  Pretty boring...  But they do order your labs.  So I went downstairs to get my blood drawn and they couldn't find a vein.  It happens every time.  The lab tech finally settled for a vein in my hand.  Ouch!  Of course, the blood took forever to come out.  In that eternity, I started to lose it.  I almost passed out right there in the lab.  I have a huge aversion to needles, but they was extreme even for me.  I'm thinking it was combination of my phobia and low blood sugar.  With the ongoing nausea I find it hard to eat at any regular times.  This morning my nausea was horrid and I didn't really eat breakfast.  Hence, problems.  At least I don't have to do more blood tests until the second trimester.

April 8th

I've made to the end of the first trimester.  Woohoo!  I've made it to the next stage.  The nausea is still here, but it has been lessening over the last two weeks.  Last week I had my 11-14 week checkup.  The doctor did an extra ultrasound to calm my fears of another miscarriage.  Everything looked amazing and was growing perfectly.  I won't be back to the doctor until May 21st (for the big ultrasound!).  Looking forward to the second trimester and more energy.