What's your first name? Do you like it? Do you hate it? Is there a reasoning behind your name? Is its meaning special? Are you named after a family member? Did you parents just like the sound of it? Names are funny things, forced upon us at birth without our say. We then must go through life with the same name, allowing only for nicknames, but often those are parent created also. And then we may have our own children, starting the cycle of names again... Tobe Frances: I hate my name. I've always hated it. Ever since I was a little girl, it's always been "That can't be your name," or "You're not a boy," or "I knew a dog named Tobe," or "How do you spell that?" or "What's your real name?' or "What's that short for?" Hi, I am a girl named Tobe. I'm glad you once knew a dog named Tobe, but I'm not a dog as you can see. That's T-O-B-E, no I, no IE, no Y, no EY, just E. Yes, it's my real name and not it's not short for anything... Happy. Does everyone else get all these crazy questions about their name? If no, would you like to trade?

So why was I named Tobe Frances? That's the million dollar question. I've never gotten a clear answer from my mother. I do know that I was named Frances after my grandmother, but that's all the info I have. My mom told me once that if I had been a boy I would have been named Elliot after the kid from E.T. Another time she said that if I had been a boy I would have been named Toby Francis (note the change of vowels). But never have I gotten a clear answer as to why, as a girl, I was named Tobe Frances. It's weird, not popular, spelled strangely...

Tobe (Toby actually) is of Hebrew origin meaning "The Lord is Good." Historically it was a slave name and a Jewish name. Of which I am neither. My family's not particularly Christian (Easter and Christmas Christians at most) so the meaning doesn't really explain my name. It's a big mystery.

I've always wanted a girly name. Something that is easily recognizable and easy to spell. Not ridiculously popular so that every fifth person I meet is named that, but popular enough. I want a name that can be shortened to a cool nickname. Growing up, I imagined myself as Stephanie, or Miranda, or Katherine (Kat for short) or Elizabeth (Lizzie for short) or even Frances (I know my middle name, but no one ever called me that).

...

Seven (almost eight) years ago, I had my twin boys. I promised myself that they would not suffer the injustice of a crazy, weirdly spelled name. I would name them something classic, easy to spell, recognizable, able to be shortened name. And I choose:

Alexander Loring: Greek "Protector of Mankind." Easy, classic, shorted to Alex (even though someone who will not be named insists on calling him Lex after Lex Luthor). The middle name is weird, but it's a family name. I'm okay with weird middle names, just not first names.

Nicholas Brian: Greek "Victorious People." Easy, classic, shortened to Nick or Nicky (and sometimes Nicks). The middle name is from his uncle and my stepfather.

Notice the difference between Nicholas and Alexander and Tobe? I definitely do!

Anyone want to give me a new name? I welcome suggestions...