I don't often write about parenting concerns here. Mostly that's because there are so many great "mommy bloggers" out there. I don't feel that I have anything groundbreaking to add to the conversation. However I recent article sparked all kinds of thoughts in my head. Note: The thoughts in this post are my own opinions. Although I do pick a side of this topic, I do not begrudge anyone on the other side.
While reading through my blogroll, I ran across this article from Huff Post written by Bunmi Laditan: I'm Done Making My Kid's Childhood Magical. Immediately, I screamed "Yes"! Don't worry, I didn't scream out loud, but it was a huge internal reaction. The gist of the article is that we don't need to plan these elaborate activities and parties and buy our children the hip expensive clothes. Providing the necessities and showing love is enough. Allowing our children to explore and play by themselves is just fine. We don't need to plan every second of every day.
I don't have a daily schedule of crafts and activities. Somedays they are left mostly on their own to play and entertain themselves. Obviously that's not quite true with the little one, but I still make sure he has time to explore (safely of course) on his own without my direction, help, or interference. Somedays I have too many chores or a massive headache and don't feel like being an "on" parent. And that's okay. I am not harming my children.
I have often felt the mommy guilt that I don't do more on a daily basis. Occasionally I doubt my ability to parent. And then I turn around see my children exploring their worlds, happily playing. I see my 11 year olds actively seeking out new information and new games. I see my 6 month old finding his independence in play and mobility. And I didn't have to scour Pinterest, run to the craft store, and spend hours making something they probably won't even remember.
For the record: I do have a kids' activities board on my PInterest account. I do occasionally pull things off of it to try. But I try to resist the feeling that I have to. Those activities are fun extras not our day to day routine.
Laditan's last thoughts resonated deeply within me:
It is not our responsibility to manufacture contrived memories on a daily basis.
Planning elaborate events, daily crafts, and expensive vacations isn't harmful for children. But if the desire to do so comes from a place of pressure or even a belief that the aforementioned are a necessary part of one's youth, it's time to reevaluate.
Thank you for reaffirming my decision to step away from the perfect mommy race and be the parent I was meant to be.