While randomly browsing through the internet, I ran across this photo.  Interesting, weird, slightly disturbing, beautiful... Are those contradictory?  No, I think not.  Those words describe this photo perfectly.

Phrases that come to mind: A juxtaposition.  Opposites attract.  A monster.  A mash-up of sorts.

Thoughts after viewing: This is a perfect visual representation of my life right now.  I feel like I have these two sides that I'm trying to stick together.  But they don't connect naturally.  They may even in fact be polar opposites.  The flimsy staples are a an attempt to connect two very different pieces.

I have recently started a new job.  After three years of teaching high school social studies, my school closed.  I now have a part-time job doing marketing for a Facebook application company.  You might be thinking "Okay just a career change."  But here's the thing, I've always wanted to be a teacher.  And the three years I was getting paid (very little, but that's another story), I absolutely loved it.  I love teaching (and teaching high schoolers to boot).  As a child, I would play "school" with my stuffed animals and dolls.  I think I was destined to be a teacher.  But my school closed and then I was going to move to another state to attend law school.  But then that plan had to be put on hold indefinitely.  So, then I needed a job.  And guess what?  The local school systems are in the process of cutting the budget and that means cutting jobs.  Bottom line: no teaching jobs available in the immediate area.

I went on unemployment and started applying for anything and everything that would make about the same salary.  (Hey!  I have two kids to try and support and need a livable income.)  Surprise surprise, nothing really out there.  Oh there are tons of job listings on Careebuilder and Monster and the like, but none of those companies really seem to be hiring.  For example, the local hospital was hiring patient registrars.  I worked for an orthopedic surgeon off and on for the past 6 years.  Guess what I did?  Check patients in and out, schedule. answer phones.  And this hospital told me that I wasn't qualified for the position.  Phooey!

About two weeks ago I was offered a job as a Marketing Intern for this new company. What do I know about marketing?  Nothing really. I'm making this up as a I go along.  I've checked out books from the library.  I've read people's blogs.  So far, so good...

But this isn't my dream job.  I don't want to be doing this for the next five years.  I want to get back into teaching or go to law school and be a student.

Right now my life really feels like this Frankenstein Apple.

http://wolkentanzer.deviantart.com/